Do you feel guilt as a mother?
Where does it all begin and where does it end? The guilt of a mother and the bottomless pit of love and attention our dear children need ❤️
Am I enough?
Most of my life this question followed me around. As a result of my personal self development and my professional work, it taught me that most of us wonder about this at times. Therefore I’m not alone.
Wondering are we really good enough?
Smart enough, pretty enough, tall enough, skinny enough, rich enough and so on?
I would often go around comparing my inside with other people’s outside. The big stick and measuring tape was never far from my reach. My constant companions. And absolutely exhausting. The result of course was always burn out, discontent and anxiety.
The critical voice was quick to judge me, distract me and beat me up if I was not measuring up to where I believed I ‘ should be’.
The trick is to know and accept that there might always be someone further along, smarter or prettier in the room. And that is ok! These feelings and experiences were of course the pre Louise Hay days when I used to ‘should on myself’ before the mirror work and Inner Child Healing
Becoming a mother heightened the comparison game of course. Anyone else ever felt that?
As mothers we hold and contain so much, like a vessel constantly expanding. Although we manage to get through our daily chores and meet the need as best we can, the question is never too far away.
What did I actually achieve today?
I have often struggled with the balance of the ambitious entrepreneur in me and the nurturing mother that wants to get everything right and perfect.
Our children are my world!
Can we actually do both? Serve both? Be brilliant at both? I want to respond yes, yes, yes. However I’m still maneuvering choppy waters at times. Summer holidays can be particularly testing.
I have been on a mission to work smarter and become one of the fabulous 6 figure business woman we read about all the time. Financially independent with the dream lifestyle.
This Summer I was moving mountains, going for promotion in the dynamic global US company I do some work for and I was taking my own business to the next level. The plans were outlined meticulously. Whilst my husband continued with his consistent and steady work and the children attended Summer camp – I would be crushing it, building my empire. Getting the show on the road, big time!
Our 11 year old son had a different plan. On the first day of the Summer holidays he was taken into hospital and had his appendix whipped out.
As my husband and I sat patiently at his side in hospital, I listened to the consultant kindly compliment his remarkable recovery and advise us there should be no physical activity for 6 weeks!!!!! My mind wandered to a vision of the consultant (lovely man) leaving work, leaving work in work and going home to his dinner on the table. (Assumptions I know)
How can we as working mums really bring the balance and get a fair crack of the whip. Even though my ‘maternal nature’ was of course to be by our son’s side as he recovered, we know that it’s Patriarchy that has spun this yarn of the responsibility of the nurturing mother. We also know that it’s a disservice to both parents and we’re a long way off from realigning the Truth.
Whilst we as mums are juggling the plates, the internal battle of home and work life balance struggle and frustration continues.
The full moon this week in all it’s beauty and challenges brought me to reflect deeper on this.
What are we actually balancing?
The moon symbolizes the feminine energy in everyone, not the being male or female but the feminine energy of creativity, wisdom and intuition that all genders carry and need to balance for harmony.
As mothers we tend to be deeply aligned with the feminine energy, overwhelmed sometimes by carrying all the emotions of the family unit. The Patriarchal society shaped this, sending the man out to be the bread winner. I know priorities and family life is some what shifting but we as women need to get better at sharing the burden of carrying everything as well as working now too.
Does it really matter if they don’t hoover like we do?
True to the system, I am working hard on harnessing my masculine energy. Multi tasking is no longer a talent I’m spoofing about. I’m working on being focused on one job at a time and working smarter.
Even though the plans and targets for the summer work blitz may not have gone exactly to plan, the self reflection and awareness of balance required in family life has been a break through. My flexibility and acceptance was modeled to our children. Embracing the opportunity to declutter and improve family nutrition. Seeking to support, motivate and nurture more every day.
From the corner of my eye I would catch the big stick and measuring tape trying to creep in and I thought ….. get out now, I’m done with you two as companions. I am an amazing woman like all other mothers.
I have had the most successful summer as planned. The hubby might come home some days asking ….. what did you do today?
When I respond with the cleaning, he looks at me confusingly and says ‘cleaned what?’
Dead wasps, toenails, chicken poop, skittles off the rug ….. bla, bla, bla
One area in my life I know I show up in like a true Queen and that’s my role as a loving and nurturing mother. I am steady, unstoppable and a force to be reckoned with.
Morning hugs, a shot of aloe, daily vitamins, walks to the shop for ice cream, lavender pillows at bedtime but mainly holding our two children’s beautiful hearts and souls dearly, so that they know for sure, deep within – they are enough!
The work left to do after that is my inner work, to harness my masculine energy, work smarter, learn to earn money in my sleep! Claim my space and power in the world and give other women permission to do the same.
I often hear people say money cannot buy you love, I say neither can poverty.
One thing I know for sure though, the years with our beautiful blessed children whilst small, we don’t get back. I’m there every step of the way.
In success and motivational coaching we often say, know your why? Why do you do what you do? When we raise the bar and push through the resistance, our children are no longer my excuse for not pushing on but my why. That why makes me cry.
And I am so ready to let go of the guilt of a Mother, honour my dreams too and share the contents of the vast emotional container.
Daddy’s want in to share some of the best bits, let them in and hug the 6 figure income.
It’s our birthright.
See you at the top sister.
Brace yourself September, we’re coming in soon …..
❤️Or get out of my way.
You are amazing , Rise sister rise
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All my love for now,