How to build resilience as a woman, is something I often get asked.
My journey in building resilience has been one big commitment to creating a new emotional home for myself.
In my book ‘Bloom Girl’ I offer the methodology and toolkit of story and archetypes to change your life. There is a great power in the connectivity of story in all cultures. These exact tools are pivotal to the process of building and sustaining resilience in life.
Reflecting back to the old me, feeling trapped in the Wounded Child, Victim and Saboteur Archetypes and replaying, a very old story of helplessness. I made a conscious decision to turn my personal story and family ancestral heritage around. I decided to pivot to the Magical Child, Warrior and Queen Archetypes.
Observing how this framework gets the shift in motion and from this perspective, we can build momentum, conditioning and flexing the beauty in the muscle of RESILIENCE.
Awareness is key always on the journey of growth and bloom.
We must know ourselves as women and be aware of what triggers our Wounded Inner Child.
A few months ago I went out for dinner with my husband and our daughter. We went to a quiet spot where we love to eat and spend time together. On arrival I noticed we were seated next to another lady with her family that my husband and I both knew. At first I repeatedly tried to catch her eye to say hello subtly without interrupting their meal. Giving her the benefit of the doubt on not seeing us being seated. However it became obvious to me into the evening that she is clearly ignoring me.
As I observed my trigger of being ignored activated, I swiftly corrected myself that she was ignoring us. Using my toolkit allowed me to stay strong in my new emotional home of resilience and not the poor me, wounded child. I quietly told myself, that was her stuff and my work was to enjoy my meal with loved ones and observe anything out of alignment with this harmony. Finally of course I let go!
Near the end as they moved to leave, shuffling out with their backs to our table, I saw my husband notice them too. When they had left, he casually turned to look at me and uttered ‘oh, she’s got a frozen shoulder has she’.
Sometimes we just need to lighten up …
Don’t you just love how humour has the power to diffuse and change the energy. I felt my inner child began to lighten up and stopped questioning me, wondering what had I done wrong.
On the drive home, I pondered this experience and played my energy shift game of ‘Counting My Blessings’ to stay grounded and centered.
I began to reflect and simply list in my heart all the things I am totally grateful for. By the time we arrived back home I was feeling content and appreciative once again for my beautiful life. I accepted that there was still inner work for me to do and continue building resilience. Shift happens when we use the tools and it’s an ongoing process.
We have to keep working and conditioning the muscle.
Did I want to regurgitate and vent… Yes of course. I am human but what I wanted more was to stay connected with my joy and maintain my inner peace and happy home. Brene Brown says that “Joy is the fuel that builds our resilience.”
Keep your own side of the street clean and let others own their stuff too.
We never know the pain that they are carrying. Stop it at the knees and release negativity as quickly as possible so we don’t rebuild and recreate the old pattern and story. Turn the story around, build a new emotional home and observe … who am I being now?
What would my Queen say?
Response: I have a thriving Queendom to govern
Top 5 tips when you are triggered:
- Stay in your own lane
- Count your blessings.
- Ask which Archetype has been triggered?
- What does this part of me need to hear?
- What does my Queen say?
You can download the complimentary ‘Bloom Girl’ Workbook to enjoy the journey and bloom more here!