The addiction they don’t talk about …

I have been very triggered recently, to be honest with you – more than ever over the last few weeks and even shed a few tears too.

I am your classic Enneagram 3, the achiever, leader and teacher! Personally I am motivated by approval, which as I talk about in my ‘Bloom Girl’ book, can be absolutely exhausting. It really wears me out at times. My teaching and coaching career has taught me over the years that we all have an approval seeking little girl within. The type 3, just has extra helpings and the approval seeking can feel as strong and emotionally painful as an addiction. It both motivates us and also can plummet us into excruciating painful self doubt!!!

The higher you elevate, the deeper you go.

I am concerned a little less about accolades these days as I have done some inner work (and I know there’s more layers to do). However, recent events beautifully directed me to another deep piece of healing. As my loyal friend Denise said to me whilst I was upset ‘the higher you elevate, the deeper you go’. I have gratitude for my friend because the achiever is often sometimes panicking that we are taking a step back!!! Now that would be tragic for a type 3.

What happened you might ask? 

She didn’t acknowledge me.

OK, a little bit of background information here because we all love a good story, this is my version and personal experience of course. I witnessed someone publicly attribute a piece of work to another identifiable party let’s just say and totally felt my contribution, support and hand holding during their achievement process was not clearly or fully acknowledged. My inner child felt wounded, ignored and not seen fairly. I felt devastated at the time and was reacting from the ego, shadow and the wounded child. 

Therefore, I honoured my healing process and I gave myself permission to feel the hurt and took time to gently sift through the process and own my piece in all of this. It is safe to feel, express and release. What was mine and what didn’t belong with me?

What did I do to process the hurt?

I got my toolkit out again…. I journaled, I connected with nature, I shared with a trusted friend, I nurtured my inner child and I set intention to let it go… And I felt a whole lot better because I am responsible for me. Full stop.

Can approval seeking be the addiction we don’t talk about? Are we also addicted to struggle?

Whatever the story or beliefs , the process works. Wondering where to start, I recommend stillness, start here with my complimentary Relaxation Guided Meditation.

And remember 

You are so beautiful and loved. Give yourself permission to enjoy the process and journey.