I had a wonderful moment of personal growth recently.
I met up with a friend for coffee and as we chatted about the kids, the usual mum talk, development, challenges, amusing stories. I recollected with her how I did everything in my power to fight the corner of our daughter in a situation in the past. This had been a number of years ago and to be honest was a very challenging and emotionally painful experience for all of our family. We felt misunderstood, ignored, not heard, even bullied by an institution and all we wanted was the best for our beautiful, talented daughter.
My friend had blurted out during the conversation ‘Oh yes, the infamous Catriona Jones!”
I stopped breathing … what????
She explained how my name had come up in a conversation and another friend of hers who heard about me was surprised that she even knew me!
How I became ‘infamous‘
Let me give you a little bit of background information here.
My friend’s friend apparently worked in the, let’s just say, the environment where the hurt happened (hang in there). She has never met me, had no dealings with me, and I couldn’t tell you what she looked like.
Therefore, she received the stories about the ‘infamous’ me (to make a judgement on me) either second hand or even third hand through the perception of someone else’s experience and then transmitted through her own lens.
I mean seriously?!
So all of this is whirling through my head… The bitch! Who does she think she is? She doesn’t even know me! I couldn’t tell you what she looked like! She has never had any dealings with our children. I’ve a good mind to and so on …. You know the drill.
Yes, I behaved at the time like a ferocious lioness with her cub.
Yes, I leapt to the defense and protection of our daughter.
Yes, I left no stone unturned.
Yes, I fought her corner.
Isn’t that what we do as mothers, we are all human after all. Doing the best we can with the understanding we have at the time (my Louise Hay get out of jail free card).
Anyway, I googled the word infamous later that day and I was hurt, felt sad, and some of the old familiar feelings began to arise.
Then I checked myself.
“What other people think of you is none of your business.”
– Regina Brett
No, that is no longer my emotional home. I am strong and I will give them not infamous, how about famous?
Famous in a positive way.
I used the pain as leverage and went into a rampage of positive affirmations. We have that power to turn the story around and create a new pattern.
I allowed all of the feelings to arise, percolate and then I grounded myself in my feminine power. You see the truth is I am a strong powerful women, you are too. The truth about all of us is – we are all love and light. The ego sometimes jumps into the driving seat at times but we can always detour from fear and return to love.
What other people think of us is really none of our business.
Turning hurt into personal growth
I chose in that moment to use my hurt as leverage to accomplish and show up bigger and better in the world as my true self. It became fuel in my belly and fired me up to accomplish more, from a place of love and passion. My husband quite rightly says ‘talk is cheap’. We must strive to drop the judgment. Loose lips can sink ships.
In many ways the trick is to care about one another but not care about what others think.
Tony Robbins teaches human motivation, which is based on pain and pleasure. Use the hurt and pain to drive you and your goals towards pleasure. Leave a legacy my lovely and bring on ‘the famous’ in you and every women. No need to react to judgements but simply keep moving forward with love. Personal growth will be inevitable.
All is well. Bring on the famous Catriona Jones. My goals are much greater than any hurt or pain.
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